Check out this post I made for The Good Men Project.
16 ways to NOT be a shit guy -
Mike Nicholson has some rules that remind him where that line is.
16. Embrace the man-hug. Shaking hands is for introductions, good mates are comfortable enough to hug one another. This does not make you gay.
15. Learn to laugh at yourself. We’ve all been guilty of being taking ourselves too serious.The best kind of man can take a joke and everyone wants to be mates with that guy.
14. Guess what? You can be friends with females and not want to sleep with them. Friendship variety is the spice of life and a wide range of friends, from both genders, guarantees a life time full of diversity.
13. Demand reality. Photoshopped bodies are not what they seem and porn is not real sex. Enjoy both if you chose but always be weary of enhanced and unrealistic media.
12. Be prepared to fail. Failure is not the end of the world it only acts as a catalyst to try harder next time. You can also use it as a chance to remember how to apologise.
11. The moustache is only acceptable one month of the year. You get a free pass for the upper lip facial hair during Mo-vember for raising awareness of men’s health issues, any other time and you run the risk of being labelled a ‘sex-pest’.
10. Be active, interested, and participate in politics. Your vote can make a difference and the whole circus of politics is a lot more bearable if you stand up and take notice: it’s also much easier to understand what Stephen Colbert and John Stewart are talking about. If all else fails, watch The West Wing.
9. Do what makes you feel happy. That dead end job might pay well but what about your well being? Take the plunge and switch it up, you never know what the change might bring.
8. Think about the words you use. Don’t say “that’s retarded” or “that’s so gay”. We are at a point in time where there are hundreds, if not thousands, of words to use instead. Alternatively, “that’s shit” works fine too.
7. Bullying is bullying, don’t do it. Whether it’s “joking around” in the locker room or under the guise of anonymity on the internet, treat others as you would like to be treated. Bullying is a killer.
6. Be a feminist. Feminism is not a dirty word. Let’s cast aside stereotypes of ‘angry, ranty man-haters’ and get on with doing more to treat every one as equal.
5. Put respect back into sex. It doesn’t matter WHO you sleep with, it doesn’t matter HOW many people you sleep with, but what’s wrong with a bit of respect? Don’t string that hot girl along who thinks you’re exclusive while you “bang” seven others on the side. That’s just tacky.
4. Crying is OK. Had a bad day? Shed a tear. Watched The Notebook? Cry over your man crush on Ryan Gosling. Suffer from depression? You are not alone. Being at one with your emotions doesn’t make you a woman, it makes you human. We should be encouraging man tears, they’re healthy and cost nothing… don’t go it alone.
3. Let’s talk homophobia. There is nothing wrong with being gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexual, queer…
Embrace your mates for who they are AND who they love. Funny thing about homosexuality, it’s not contagious.
2. Real heroes walk away. If you’re drinking your weight in beer and start getting a little bit aggressive, walk the hell away. A split second and one punch is all it can take to ruin many lives. Don’t be that guy.
1. Don’t buy Chris Brown music, ever. Everyone deserves a second chance (which he’s been the recipient of many), but that guy is a jerk and he hits women.
I’m not saying I adhere to the entire list on a day-to-day basis, we all fault some times, but this is a constant reminder of how I can make sure I am not a shit guy.
Enjoy.
P.S Apologies to the moustachioed men of the world. You’re still OK by me… only just.
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